Control is an illusion. Many of us try to control the outcome of everything. We believe we have control everything in our lives, in our work and with those around us. When we control, we may get the outcome we wanted, however we never know what other outcomes, perhaps even better, were out there that we could have had. We never know what else could have occurred and how that other thing may have elevated us and our life more. Perhaps the plan that the universe (or God) had is better than the one we had for us. Our sight is limited, our understanding and knowing is limited by our beliefs and experiences and therefore, we can’t know what else may be out there unless we have patience and wait; unless we allow for faith in the Universe to show us; unless we let go of control and allow.
These are difficult concepts for someone who was raised to believe they control everything. These are difficult beliefs to change if, up to now, controlling has given you comfort, given you what you believe is a satisfying life. These are difficult beliefs to change if everyone around you seems to rely on your ability to control. Yet they are beliefs that are actually holding us back. Yep, being able to control everything including the outcome is a limiting belief.
It limits what we try. It limits our creativity. It limits our understanding of doors opening and closing and of signs of the path we could follow. Control limits what we do, what we think and what we believe. All we really control is us. We control what we do, what we think, how we react. We control what we change and what we keep the same. We don’t control what others do. We don’t control the impact of what is done. We don’t control the outcome. The sooner we come to grips with that the sooner we can move to enjoying the ride more; enjoying the unknown more.
Control for most of us comes from a place of fear. By controlling everything we can we know what to expect, no surprises. So many of us have a fear of the unknown. At times, when we feel out of control, we double down on controlling. We push everyone out of the way and control every piece of what is happening around us. When the outcome happens that perhaps we didn’t want, we think to blame, someone else, a situation, something, other than ourselves. Taking responsibility doesn’t always happen. And we spin, we spin the story to fit what we believe happened, we try to control even the story.
This spinning, this act of trying to control it all can cause us to descend into low energy focused on frustration, anger, blame, victimhood, pity, and so on. Low energetic vibration drags us down and sometimes causes us to make rash decisions, and lose our patience; with others and with ourselves. We can beat up others, in our minds or directed at them. We can beat ourselves up with all those “should’s” that float around our heads.
What if we reminded ourselves of our strength in these times and instead had patience? What if we reminded ourselves of our strength and patience and held ourselves in grace? Patience, the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset, is a super power that many of us can lack at times of trouble, delay or suffering. Being patient takes higher vibration energy, it takes compassion and understanding. Being patient with ourselves also takes grace. It takes kindness and courtesy. It takes an understanding that we may need clemency.
As we spin all the plates that we have in life and we work to give up controlling it all, find patience and grace within your strength. Notice when you are not patient and adjust the behavior. Notice if you aren’t being kind and courteous and adjust the behavior. Adjust the thinking associated with the situation and raise that energy to have compassion for yourself and others.
Control is an illusion. Patience and Grace are not. Focus on those and allow things to unfold the way they are supposed to unfold. The beauty of your life is in the surprises that around each corner.