The word that best describes the year I expect is Trustfall. Trust – I trust my intuition to steer me, my body to tell me what it needs, my faith that the universe always has my back and is working for the highest good of all. Fall – I leap into 2024 with excitement to take leaps of faith. I will fall forward into the arms of the universe for all that is there for me and be open to all it has. My trustfall is about faith in me and faith in the universe. And the year has begun with a lot of trust and a lot of leaps!
My trust in the universe was cemented as I prepared for my move, knowing that all I needed would be there when I needed. I had friends show up when I needed help. I had the best 5 moving guys on moving day I could ask for. I had a realtor and others who enabled me to get everything done for the town that needed to be done. I sold the house to a great family who were flexible and so happy. I went away for a week just before the move and didn’t worry about anything getting done, it was in the right hands.
That trust allowed me to focus on building more self-trust through adventure. During my trip to Costa Rica I overcame a few fears and allowed myself to leap (literally!). I went hiking across moving and hanging bridges far above the base of the rain forest. I walked 500 steps down and then up again to hike and swim near a beautiful waterfall. I zip-lined above and through the rain forest, at speeds up to 35 miles per hour! I took a boat tour near the Nicaragua border and among a lot of wildlife.
As I walked up the 5 flights of stairs to the first platform for zip-lining, I told my cousin I wasn’t sure I could do this. Her response was perfect, “nobody is forcing you.” I stood there with my knees shaking, my legs feeling like rubber and cement all at the same time and my stomach doing flip-flops. Then I used one of my favorite tools to get myself out of catastrophizing thinking, the side-by-side. I said to myself, what is my mind telling me? It was saying things like, you are too old, you are too fat, you will die, you will fall, how do you know these people are safe? etc???? Then I thought, what would future suzy tell me, the woman I am becoming. She would say, you are never too old to try or do anything, you got this, you have always wanted to zip-line, now is your chance; you know you can do this. I listened to her, not my scared little mind that just wanted to keep me safe and only knew to stop me. I listened to my future self who loves a challenge, who is so freaking proud of herself for all she has done to break out of the safe shell she was stuck in.
A former version of me would have talked herself completely out of zip-lining. She would have convinced herself that she didn’t need to do that to prove anything to anyone especially not herself. She would have then felt small and weak because she didn’t do something she always said she wanted to do. And that would reinforce her beliefs that she is never going to be good enough for people to truly love her. And that would start the cycle all over again.
Except this version said, nah, I’m going to do this because the woman in my vision takes chances. She loves adventure. She loves trying new things. She moved to an apartment by the beach where her friends aren’t as close, to gain new perspective as she continues to evolve intentionally. The woman in my vision is clear in her conviction; is clear in what she wants. She wants freedom. She wants fun. She wants love. She wants ease.
I chose trust over fear. I chose leaping over staying still and staying the same. In the first 6 weeks of 2024, I have already felt the word, trustfall, enter my veins and begin to take hold.
What are you doing to stay true to your intentions, your word, your vision for you in 2024? Get ready to trustfall!