Actions…Not Words

Behavior, action and inaction tell us more about other people’s intentions, beliefs and perhaps where we stand in their lives, versus words. Anyone can say “I love you,” and, perhaps mean it in some way. Their actions though are more in line with an acquaintance not a loved one. They don’t free up time to spend with you. They don’t free up time to even talk to you. Everything and everyone else feels like a priority over you.

Words are hollow, even the words we tell ourselves. This week I realized that as much as I was observing words over action in a few of my relationships, the relationship with myself was suffering from it as well! I was telling myself things and not moving forward, not doing what I said I would do.

When words and actions don’t match up, we lose trust in that person. We realize they don’t really mean what they are saying. Or maybe they think they do, and they are not really observing their behavior. When our own words and actions don’t align, we lose trust in ourselves. We begin to question ourselves, our abilities, our intentions. How often I question if I am really a good person? That is all about trusting myself. Reminding myself that I am only responsible for my actions, behavior, inactions and happiness. Nobody else is responsible and I am not responsible for anyone else.

Trusting that I am making a decision that is best for me. Trusting that I am capable. Trusting that I am being guided and the path will unfold. Trusting that other people’s opinions, decisions or reactions are all theirs, not mine. Trusting myself to use the tools that I teach.

Over the course of this week, I found that I wasn’t trusting me. Then I found a quote, “People pray for cake. Then the Universe gives them batter, oil, icing, a pan, an oven, then they get frustrated and leave the kitchen.” Think about that. It is all right in front of you, with some action you get what you desire. Do you see all the pieces in front of you? What is getting in your way from taking the action toward what your heart desires?

FEAR. Fear of the unfamiliar. Fear of the unknown. And all the conditioning that came before it; mine being I am not lovable, I am not worthy of love. So I sabotage, intimate relationships, friendships, family, I have done all of that over my lifetime. Not anymore. Now I know my worth, and fear throws other things at me to keep me the same. It sends me distractions to focus on so I lose my way on my actions. Making it safe to take that action is what I haven’t been doing of late. I have not been regulating my nervous system the way I coach my clients. So once I read that quote, I realized that I had everything I needed to move forward and needed to take a step! So I did. I breathed into my fear, regulated my nervous system and took a step.

I stepped right into recording a private podcast that I plan to share with my community. I was excited to take the step. And now I am planning on the re-record this week onto the platform needed to create it. I am very excited that I finally took an action I have been wanting to do since the summer. I had been paralyzed to do anything since my accident. It was almost as if I needed life to just stop for a while.

I let my words keep me comfortable, so action wasn’t necessary. I believed my words that I wasn’t ready because of how shaken I was. I believed my words that I will get to it, when I am ready. I believed my words that started to question whether this was really what I wanted to send out, was it really something people will be interested in? I let my words stop me, instead of following my heart’s inspired actions.

What words are you allowing to keep you from taking action? What is right in front of you that you just need to take the step toward? Your actions are what define you, not your words.