Loss brings up all kinds of feelings and thoughts. Grief, the aftermath of loss, allows us to feel all those feelings and pull apart all those thoughts. There is always that wonderment, what if I knew that was the last time I talked to you, would I have said anything different? Have I said what I want others to know before it is too late for them to hear?
When loss happens suddenly, there is a feeling of wanting and needing more time, I didn’t get to say it all. When it is prolonged due to illness or injury, the question becomes different; we may have the time to say what we wanted and now we watch someone suffer through their last days. There really is no better or worse; there is different. One gives us time to share ourselves and allows someone to suffer; one does not give us that time to share and nobody goes through that suffering.
Living life in the present moment more, filled with love and gratitude, being open and honest with those we love allows us to share ourselves more openly and readily. Living in the present moment allows us to truly listen to what is being said, and what is not. Living in the present allows for pure love, joy and gratitude to guide us, not fear, lack, anxiety, worry or sadness.
Sharing ourselves with those we care about allows others to never question how we feel. We all have had or still have some in our lives whose actions and words do not match, we struggle to understand who we are to them, how they actually feel about us. Are we really friends or just when you need me? Are we family, or just at holidays? Do we say all we feel we want to say as if we may never get that chance again?
My parents and I had a great relationship and we shared a lot. My mom and I, especially, shared our deepest secrets, our deepest wants and wishes; there was nothing left unsaid between us. They knew how I felt and what I felt, they knew my love for them, they knew it all. Sometimes I wonder if everyone I love knows how I feel about them.
Sudden loss reminds you that those around you need to know how you feel, how much you appreciate them, how much you love and respect them; how grateful you are for them. Sudden loss reminds you that those you have been trying to keep in your life may have outlived their time in your life. Perhaps it is time to let some shit go, people, relationships, friendships even family relationships. Any loss allows for reflection on who you want around you and who you have outgrown, how you want to spend your time and how you do not.
I know for me, times of loss remind me that our time in this physical world is short and I want to make the most of this life; filled with love, adventure, contentment, peace and pleasure. I want to enjoy it all now. I want to be present for every minute I can be.
I am committing to a few things right here, right now. First, I commit to being present when I am with you, not scrolling my phone, watching videos, talking to other people, I will be present with each person. Next, I commit to ensuring that if I love you, you will know it by both actions and words. Third, I commit to boundaries where I decide what energy I let into my sphere and what energy I do not, and how much and for how long. Lastly, I commit to no longer chasing friendships, people who once said they loved me and were my friend and now cannot find the time of day to see or talk to me. I’m done with chasing anyone; I finally love me so much I am good alone!
Sudden loss changes your perspective; especially when the person is close to your age. You realize your humanness really does have a time limit and you are getting closer to it. Time is now to be your best version and gain a new perspective on life. Time is now to be present; to give those in your life as much of you as they deserve and always give you your fullest expression of you.
Be Present.