Compliments…
“People wonder why I give so many compliments out to strangers. I’m not being fake and I’m not looking for people to like me. But if I pass someone & I like something, I say it. “Love those shoes!” or “Great hair!” or “Wow your eyes are beautiful!”…why? Because life is hard & this world can be a shitty place…& people are mean. You never know how much those few words mean to someone, you never know what hell they may be going through; & when you put positivity out there into the universe YOU yourself become a happier person. It’s hard to be nice & miserable yourself. It’ll reflect from the outside in…I’m telling you random compliment giving will change your life; & maybe someone else’s too.”
~ by Jordan Sarah Weatherhead
I am a random compliment giver. I thoroughly enjoy sharing when I like someone’s shoes, a color on them, jewelry, cologne…smile, eyes, hair, laugh. I am not sure I have ever thought about the way Ms Weatherhead has however it did bring a memory flooding back to me!
Jonathan and I were planning our wedding. We had purchased a home and planned to be married on the property, 8 days after we closed on the house. Talk about cutting it close. My dad had just gotten out of the hospital and was in rehab. I was running each night to see him and pick my mom up. I was fairly stressed and I wasn’t good at alleviating stress at this time in my life. I was definitely snippy and teary a lot, but the tailor took it to a whole new level.
I was having difficulty finding a dress for the wedding. What I liked didn’t fit and what fit I didn’t care for. I was probably about the size I am now. Jonathan suggested I go to a tailor he knew in Red Bank who could create a custom dress for me. So I went. The tailor was pretty snooty and immediately told me that it wouldn’t be worth me having a dress made, it would be too much money because of the amount of fabric he would have to use. I was quite heavy he said. I teared up immediately and walked out, head down, tears streaming down my face.
I sat in my car for about 5 minutes just trying to compose myself. Then I called Jonathan and cried to him. He of course felt terrible and told me not to worry, we would find something beautiful. I cried my drive home.
That evening we attended a surprise 50th birthday party for our friend Bill. It was at a VFW hall and we could bring the boys. It was great to be out as a family, that was really the closest I ever had to that, those 6 years. As dessert was being served we realized there was no cream or milk for the coffee. My friend Steph and I decided to make a run to a convenience store to pick some up. Steph drove and I ran into the store. When I walked up to the cash register to pay, the gentleman behind the counter looked at me and said “you’re beautiful.” I was frozen. I needed that comment, that compliment at that very moment. And his voice reminded me of my brother Steve. It was a surreal experience and as soon as I got into the car I shared it with Steph. We both realized that this was a beautiful moment and perhaps sign. But that compliment was needed at that moment, and came so unexpected, it was incredible. My entire attitude changed after that moment. I knew I would find the right dress and all would be right.
I did find the right dress, at Lord & Taylor no less!
That compliment made a huge difference in my life. I never realized it or perhaps I forgot. Either way, it was more pivotal than I thought. I do find that I compliment a lot. And I think this is why. I know how good it makes me feel and I want people to feel good when they interact with me.
So it isn’t being fake, it is not trying to get people to like me, it is to make people feel good. It is to put that positivity out there in the universe! It is to be happier, to spread happiness.