The phone rang, the name that popped up was a surprise. Although, I had texted him yesterday I didn’t expect the phone call. As cousins, we have 15 or so years between us; I am one of the younger cousins…at least in my eyes I am. The conversation focused on a few things and by the end we were both saying how grateful we were to be connected, to have each other as cousins.
My mom’s family is fairly unique. The 5 siblings who emigrated to the USA in the 1910’s and 20’s remained close both in proximity and in spirit. Their children all grew up together, almost all as siblings and not first cousins. To keep that connection, they formed a Family Circle after WWII. The Family Circle was incorporated, with dues, a family cemetery plot, trip, and parties and a very special bond ensued. Their children, my generation, all grew up seeing each other far more than most cousins do (especially beyond first cousins).
There is a shared history, a shared love and shared ancestry. There are stories pieced together as we each have received a version or parts of stories from our respective parents and grandparents. There is a connection like no other. Habits that are similar, mannerisms that are similar. There is a connection from the heart and soul as well that is incredibly powerful and soothing. It reminds me, at least, that there are others out there who totally get me. Who know from where it comes, and love me anyway and love where it came from as well. There is no judgment. Everyone wants to love and help the other.
We have had our share of strife, hurt and loss. And through each, we all support each other however is needed. This connection reminds us that in our hour of need, there are people we can depend upon to help. Not for money, not out of obligation, but to be only of love and support.
How often do we have these types of relationships? A relationship that all stems from two people 3 generations ago, alive and always loving. We may not see each other for months, years even, and we still are there if the other needs us there! Recently, a cousin of mine tragically lost her husband. The family immediately jumped, figuring how we could help, what we could do. She was shocked as she hadn’t been in touch with us much. The connection runs deep.
I think of connection with some of my friends as well. It is so reassuring and soothing to know that there are people there that will be there for you when you need them. There is a connection that runs deep, that is brimming with love, respect, admiration and joy. These special friends are there for you in good and bad, never shying away from the difficult. These special friends forgive your mistakes, your stupidity and at times your aloofness. These special friends are connected to you at your soul level.
Soulmates are not just lovers, spouses, etc. Soulmates are family members and friends who you are connected with on a deep level. Soulmates are the ones who calm you, who you share deep ideas with and who bring peace to your world. Soulmates are those who you can confide in about anything knowing there is no judgment. Soulmates very often balance you out. This is the deepest connection there is and is one of purest part of each of us.
Connection is how we stay alive. Most of us need time alone, need to be in solitude to re-energize, rest, recover, think, create, forgive, etc. That time alone, however, cannot be forever as we need those who we have these deep connections with, those who bring us back to ourselves.