About 6 months ago, a cousin of mine passed away. My Aunt and I decided to drive to his son’s home in Connecticut to make a Shiva call, about a 2 1/2 hour drive. We had never been to his home before, so we followed the navigation system. As I drove down the street, I noticed the house my system said was his, had no number on the siding. I decided to pull into the driveway, leave my aunt in the running car and ring the bell. I wanted to be sure we were at the right home.
Fortunately for me this was the right home. After the week we just witnessed in the United States, I would never do that again. The days of ringing doorbells to ask for help are over. Now you have to be afraid to pull into the wrong driveway, ring the wrong doorbell and go to the wrong car in a parking lot. All things most have us have done at some point. When I was a kid, you could ring someone’s doorbell you didn’t know to use the phone to call your parents if, let’s say, you had a flat tire on your bicycle. It was something we did at times.
Now, we live in a culture of fear and paranoia. We shoot first and ask questions second. There is no such thing as compassion, empathy or service to others, it is a culture of “me first” and power. And we live in a society that values having and being able to purchase whatever firearm I want without ensuring I am capable, over anyone else’s life. When did “stand your ground,” become “shoot without being threatened.” What ever happened to asking someone, “how may I help you?” Instead of shooting because they are in your driveway or at your door. How have we spiraled to such a low place that we fear a 16 year old at our front door? What has happened in this country that has created all of this fear and paranoia?
Could it be the rise of technology and social media? Maybe. Could it be the rise in white supremacy (really the coming out of the woodwork)? Maybe. Could it be the erosion of our education system in the states that have stripped so much away? Maybe. Could it be the diversity of our country threatening those who have always felt in power? Maybe. Could it be the lack of social services, and of good medical and mental health care? Maybe. Could it be all of these things? Probably.
How do we change the trajectory we have been on? How do we start to quell fear and paranoia so people can begin to look at life through a lens of love and compassion? Solving the societal issues is paramount to changing this culture and getting us to a country that resembles what we strive to be. Each of us as individuals, however, can only control our response to these issues. And it means, to me, getting to the bottom of our individual fears and paranoia, and releasing that. Learning to think differently.
Fear is a biological response and sometimes is about danger, but most times is about new and unfamiliar. Instead of assuming that something new and unfamiliar is dangerous, perhaps becoming more curious about the unfamiliar and not automatically reacting to it would help. Taking long and deep breaths to regulate your nervous system is your first step. Once you are calmer, you gain more clarity, you can be curious and open. If we could help people move out of their fear response and understand that there is no need to be paranoid, maybe we can change this culture.
It is a deep-seated culture that has continued to erode trust and love in society. It is a culture that inhibits a society from truly living and working together in harmony. Our fears are taking over our senses; it is time to make a change.
Fear and paranoia are the disempowering emotions of our society right now, I, for one, would rather live in a society filled with love and compassion and be of service to each other.