“The secret to my happiness is simple: I replaced fear of the unknown with curiosity.”
~Timber Hawkeye
Our minds hate uncertainty and the unfamiliar. Our minds love the known and familiar. Our mind has one job and that is survival. It is keeping us alive. It keeps us alive by flipping us into our fight/flight/freeze system (sympathetic nervous system) and having us so afraid of change or the unknown that we stay the same. It reacts to any perceived unfamiliar or uncertain moment as if a Saber-toothed Tiger were chasing us. It isn’t. We aren’t in danger when we are trying to change, heal, grow and expand. When we know what we want but we are afraid to leap after it, it is too scary, our mind is doing holding us back.
When we feel overwhelmed so we don’t know what to do first and do nothing. When we procrastinate and not do or finish a project. When we binge eat and find ways to sabotage ourselves. When we focus on being a perfectionist and then nothing is good enough so we shrink, we hide and we aren’t seen the way we want. When we stop caring for and loving ourselves, stop taking time for us. When we beat ourselves up over something, over and over. These are all ways that fear stops us, takes hold of us, and keeps us from acting on something that we allow us to change, to grow, and to expand.
What if we chose to embrace that fear? What if we recognized that fear is part of a guidance system that lets us know we are growing. We hear often that growth is not comfortable. In fact, growth and comfort are opposed to each other. If we are comfortable we aren’t growing. If we are growing, we aren’t comfortable. And all of that could be embraced instead of being feared. We are in no danger although our body acts as it. And our body wants the familiar so many of us immediately feel that fear and stop, “I don’t want to feel that way.” Many of us take it as a signal that we shouldn’t do something. Instead, it really is a signal that we are growing and it is time to take action.
Perhaps the action is responding differently to someone and having a deep healing conversation. Perhaps the action is marketing ourselves more if we have a business. Perhaps the action is changing something in our lifestyle, going to the gym, eating differently, letting go of behaviors that are for coping. Perhaps the action is realizing that certain relationships no longer serve us and we need to let them go. Perhaps the action is simply to do something that we haven’t done before.
Fear is our friend. Fear is the signal that we are growing. Let’s dance with it. Let’s notice it and say “hi fear, you being with me reminds me I can choose to do whatever I need to do to heal, grow and expand.” Let’s step into the unknown with curiosity and not fear. Focus on what the best thing to do is, based on the vision you have for your life. Use the fear as a signal. Breathe deeply into your fear and remind yourself, you are safe. Nothing in the unknown will hurt you. Take the leap, take the action, allow yourself the growth.
Move into the unknown with curiosity and tell fear to Fuck Off!