Reflect, Forgive, Move Forward…

The sun’s rays were peaking through the morning clouds and lighting up the sky in purple, pink and red. They bounced off of the ocean with a beauty that made people stop and capture on film. The sun rising is the moment when we can reflect on who and how we were the day before, forgive ourselves and others for any transgressions and move forward in the day knowing we are being our best selves.

Yesterday, being the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur, I did just that. I reflected on the past year. Who did I hurt during the year? Who did I think hurtful thoughts of during the year? Who did I feel hurt from? What did I learn? What do I need to forgive in me and others? What do I want to do differently in moving forward? What do I want to take with me as I move forward?

All of these questions swirled around in my head as I sat on the beach in that beautiful morning sunrise. I began to really understand the power of forgiveness this past year, especially forgiving someone else without an apology and forgiving myself for things I thought, said or did that were no longer in alignment with who I am evolving into. Forgiveness allowed me to move forward in love. I love me, completely, and allow for me to step on my own toes sometimes. Forgiving myself is my greatest form of self-love. And I forgive with changed behavior. I will always think about how I want to handle something moving forward, how I want to approach life, and focus on what I want to feel.

I know a lot of people who struggle to forgive. They tend to just walk away from people or treat them differently without the conversation as to why and without ever attempting to forgive. I believe when you do not forgive, you carry around a heaviness that weighs you down. I do believe you can forgive and walk away, the forgiving is what is important. That energy allows you to move forward in love, not in comparison, anger, or even apathy.

Forgiving ourselves and really letting go of the negative feelings is hard. I use the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer to help me forgive.

“I am sorry”

“Please forgive me”

“Thank you”

“I love you”

Repeating these 4 simple phrases, allows your body to begin to feel the frequency of forgiveness. The tradition is to repeat 108 times. If I am forgiving myself, I keep me in my mind’s eye, perhaps the person who I am asking forgiveness of as well. This practice has helped me tremendously over the last few years as I have had to forgive many who never apologized for their behavior and myself.

Moving forward, with intention, allows us to evolve. Once we have reflected and forgiven, we now get to put new behaviors into action. We now can focus on how we want to feel moving forward, and begin to align with that feeling. My number one guiding feeling is love. I try to approach everything from a place of love. My number two guiding feeling is joy. What brings me joy? How can feel joy in the midst of anything else? How can I bring joy into a situation?

As I reflect, forgive and move forward, I lay the groundwork for this new year of life. I focus on how I can bring more love, joy and gratitude into my days, weeks, and months.