Signs, Signs, Everywhere are Signs…

Not just a great song by Tesla. there are signs everywhere, but the question really is whether we are seeing them, how do we interpret them and what do we do differently because of them? I am one who believes in signs, or call it intuition or instinct, your gut! I rely heavily on this attribute, perhaps too heavily. It has caused me to read into things that aren’t there, confusing the intent of another. I also have been calmed by signs, happily excited by them and have ignored them!

The day I closed on a property at the beach was an amazing day for me! I had worked hard to achieve this slice of heaven and was excited to share it with my very close friends. The beach where we made our purchase was part of my childhood and then became a very important part of my adult life with my brother Steve. He would spend time at this beach with his wife and children and I would show up for 2 or 3 days to hang out with them. It gave me an incredible glimpse into his life as husband and father and not just brother and son. I was part of their inside jokes! I was riding waves with them, riding roller coasters and enjoying summertime at the Jersey shore with children I felt incredibly close to! My brother unexpectedly passed away a few years before I made this purchase so he unfortunately did not get to revel in my joy and accomplishment! Or so I thought! Our closing was on October 29, 2007, his son’s  birthday. As we left our newly owned condo,  and walked toward the beach, a beautiful monarch butterfly floated by us. The butterfly followed us to the beach that day. It felt as if it was with us for hours. Butterflies are usually not at the beach but certainly not at the end of October. I have loved butterflies all of my life. Growing up there were pictures of butterflies hanging on my bedroom walls, butterfly jewelry of any kind was always a great gift for me! Everyone knew my love of butterflies! At 39 years old I decided to get my first tattoo, a butterfly. So seeing this butterfly in a place it normally isn’t found certainly felt like sign to me that my brother was with me and approved of my path!

There are many signs however that may be ignored. I recently was with a close childhood friend of mine and we were discussing how I am good at reading people, good judge of character except when it comes to men I choose to be with or more importantly marry! I am 0 for 2 on that front! We both laughed at the ridiculousness of that! Then he looked at me and said, “I disagree!  Your first husband was a great guy, you just had too much baggage as a couple and started out way too young. Simple. Now, the second one, I think you ignored the signs you saw.” And he was right. My gut was on fire a few times, but I allowed his excuses, his explanations to trump what I was feeling in my gut. I allowed him to convince me that this was different.  My friend went on to remind me of some of our conversations when I met Jon and then when we were struggling to remain together. “You shared with me that he had no friends. That you thought this was strange but that his reasons somehow made sense to you and that it made everything easy. You could pick him up and plop in your life, no integration of friends necessary.” As he said that out loud, I realized I made that my truth at that time. I ignored the fire in my belly that asked, “ why does someone  at this age have no friends!? Does that say something about the person or is it a function of circumstances, such as married, 2 children, full-time law student and working?” Was I expecting too much?  I don’t know but I certainly felt as if I ignored that sign. I ignored

my gut. And it played out. He really had no way of knowing how to make relationships work, because he hadn’t done that enough.

Signs, or “God Winks” are ways of knowing you may be on the right path; or the wrong one.  Or that someone is in your sub conscious and now in your conscious mind.  Of course you cannot read into everything but there are, at times, sure signs that this is right or not.  Sometimes it is as simple as hearing the same song every time you think of someone. That usually means to me that I need to call them, that it has been too long or they may need me and aren’t sure how to ask for my time and attention. I have a very good friend who I only live a few miles from. However she has 3 small children so our lives are very different. We don’t get to speak or see eachother anywhere near as much as we would both like. Our song is “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” by Billy Joel. It never fails, I will think about her and our song will come on the radio! And as soon as I call her, she will tell me she was just thinking of me!   Some signs are from those who are only with us in spirit now. I recently asked my brother for a sign that he was with me. I asked him for rainbows, but not normal ones. Not one I would see in the sky after a rainfall. That next day the sun came through my window in my office in such a way that its rays hit a crystal butterfly paperweight and created rainbows all over my office walls and ceiling. I had never seen the sun peer into my office that way, and had only just started using my new paperweight that week! That was a sign to me that Steve was very much present in my life.

Signs can make us feel really good about a decision or make us think twice about what we thought was happening. I find that I want to pay attention to signs but I also need to make them less important to me. I may have become overly dependent on signs, reading into each! My gut and intuition are very important, however I need to ensure that I use some common sense to weed out the real from the coincidence; and not rely so heavily, good or bad, on signs.

Many signs are affirmations that the course you are on is the right one, at least at this moment it is correct. They are there to help us, guide us and perhaps give us hope. But we must rely on our decisions, listen to our hearts and be as present in our life as we can be. It may not be a straight line to our destiny, but the journey, with all its twists and turns, is what makes life so worth living!