How often do you hear yourself saying, “that’s just the way I am?” “I am a control freak, that’s just the way I am;” or “I suck at technology, that’s just the way I am;” or “I am disorganized, that’s just the way I am.” Then there are the other comments we make about ourselves, “I am not thin enough,” “I am not smart enough,” “I am always right (or wrong)”. These comments are the labels that we create very often for ourselves. These labels are sometimes given to us by others or we inherit. I inherited all the negative comments I say about myself, my looks and my brains (or lack thereof) from my mom. I loved her more than life itself, and I heard all of her self-talk and absorbed it as my own.
Labels are a construct that actually limits us. If I believe I am a control freak, will I ever give up control and see what could happen? If I believe I am disorganized, will I ever be organized? If I believe I am not smart enough, will I even try? If I believe I am always right (or wrong), will I ever listen to someone else’s point and learn? Labels cause us to stop growing, stop learning, stop being who we are used to being and becoming the next level amazing version we can be.
When our self-talk is limiting and shitty, we are in such judgement of ourselves. We identify ourselves with these low-frequency thinking that we would never bestow on our best friend, or our sister, our daughter or our mother. We would not allow people we love to speak about themselves with this depth of judgment, but we use it almost as a badge of honor. Look at how hard I am on myself!
Very often, this voice of judgement is leading us. This voice is going to lead us to make small decisions, similar to the ones we have always made and keep us right where we are in life. If that is what we want, great! But don’t we want a bigger, more bodacious life with greater joy and love in it than our current reality? We have this big beautiful vision of what our life could be, will these judgements get us there? What decisions are going to be helpful from a place of judgment and negativity? I know I make small decisions from this place. I don’t make the big, fun, exciting decisions from a place of judgment. I keep myself small, I keep my life small.
Don’t we deserve to make decisions about our life from a place of wisdom? Making our decisions from a level of energy that says the Universe is supporting me, there is no failure. There is no mistake that can be made, every decisions allows me to grow and learn. Taking a chance and having some fun with it means letting the voice of wisdom, our personal fan club, lead us. Using our self-talk and labels to advance us, build us up, remind us just how worthy we are allows us to move into the life we have been dreaming of.
Having self-talk that focuses us on where we are heading in our life, who we are becoming instead of who we have been will open us up to all kinds of exciting opportunities. Wouldn’t we all rather live in the mindset of “I am worthy”, “I am enough”, “I am amazing as I am” versus all the negative and restrictive labels and talk we give ourselves?
Let your fan club lead. The self talk that identifies you as amazing, as confident, as worthy, as beautiful, as calm, as the best version of you. That leads us to a new, more exciting life, a life that no longer sits in judgment of ourselves or others. A life that reminds us that we have so much to give, so much love to share.
Who is leading you today?