I have had difficulty writing this blog for 2 weeks now, as it would have been from a place of anger and I did not want that. I needed to feel my anger, and then let it go. I needed to move from a disempowering emotional state of being where I am automatically myopic in my thinking and my approach and move to an empowering state of being, where there are options in front of me, where there is opportunity and not problems. More on the states of being in another post, coming soon. I have so much to share on my healing, growth, and expansion journey and am excited to do that with you.
Today(and these 2 weeks), though, my focus is and has been in one place; the inequality of women in this country. I know there are many who will disagree with my point of view and that is fine, we all get to have an opinion. What we don’t get to do is tell someone that their lived experience is wrong. We don’t get to tell someone that their opinion is wrong. Your opinion or mine cannot be wrong just like our feelings cannot be wrong. We may not agree, that is all. So my disclaimer for this blog is, this is my point of view based on my lived experience. Period. Full stop.
Two weeks ago today, the Supreme Court of the USA decided, based on the Constitution written over 240 years ago by white male slaveowners, that since women’s rights about reproduction or abortions in not specifically written in the Federal Constitution, the right is no longer valid. The individual states get to decide if a woman has the right to make the decision she feels is correct for her or for a fetus or not. The individual states get to decide if a woman has control over her body, when she has a child, if she wants a child. The woman no longer gets that choice unless she is lucky enough to live in one of the 24 states that have said they will retain a woman’s right to choose and ensure they have access to legal procedures. We no longer have the choice for our healthcare, our reproductive decisions or ourselves. A right to choose was taken away from us, a right that we fought for 50 years ago.
I do understand that this topic is filled with morality, religious conviction, individual rights, science, etc. I think what is stunning to me is that people are trying to equate this with vaccines. I saw someone write that those of us upset about this decision should also be upset that people lost jobs because they didn’t have the choice whether they wanted the Covid-19 vaccine; their employer mandated it and if they did not get the vaccine then they lost their job. My stunned reaction is that these two matters couldn’t be more different and more far apart. My stunned reaction is that people can’t seem to see the difference. Here is my view of the difference.
Private employers (including healthcare and government) have conditions of employment. Some employers want a drug-free workplace so in order to be hired you must pass a drug screen. Your choice if you want to work somewhere that you have to pass a drug screen, if you don’t want to take that test, you don’t work there. Some employers want people with certain certifications and/or degrees; you get to choose if you want that certificate or degree and if so you can work there. If not, you go somewhere else. The company gets to decide their conditions of employment, and the company can change those working conditions whenever it wants. I began volunteering for a community hospital during the pandemic. In order to be part of the volunteer community and be allowed to round with certain individuals and spend time in the hospital, I needed to go through a process of showing that I had a few different vaccines (pre-covid vaccine), including chicken pox, MMR and small pox. If I didn’t have proof of vaccination, I could have blood work done to show antibodies or I could have the vaccines now for the volunteer role. I could also make the choice not to do all of that and that means I cannot be an on-site volunteer. My choice based on their requirements. And if I was already there and now had the Covid-19 vaccine added to the requirements, I again have a choice. I could take the vaccine and stay as a volunteer or I could not be a volunteer. My choice. So no matter if you like the decision of the employer or not, you still get choice. The employer has the right to their conditions of employment.
With this decision from the Supreme Court, your choice is removed in 26 states and Federally there is no protection. With this decision to roll back a right we have had for 50 years, the court basically said “we don’t agree with your choice so we are going to take it away.” This group of justices believe that we should be true to a document that didn’t include women or people of color, didn’t include gay, lesbian, transgender or bi-sexual individuals, or anyone other than white men. Next they are going after gay marriage and contraception. There was a time not so long ago that a woman who was not married wasn’t able to get contraception and a woman who was could only get it with their husbands approval.
Recently, there was a story about a 10 year old girl who was raped in Ohio and was pregnant. She does not have access to legal abortion in Ohio. If she can afford it, she will be able to go to another state and legally and safely abort this fetus. No 10 year old should have to suffer more than she already will. No 10 year old should go through pregnancy and birth just to give up a baby. The traumas just keep piling up for this little girl whose been stripped of her innocence by a monster and yet people want her to go through with a pregnancy. If that was your 10 year old daughter, would you? Yet that is what a number of these backwards states want, no exclusions.
More women will die. More unwanted and unloved children will be born. More women will live with trauma that is not necessary. All because of a group of people who think a document that is 240 years old is complete. If it was complete we would not have all the amendments that we have.
I am going to share another fallacy that I see often. I hear and read that people think there are droves of women who use abortion as their form of birth control and have one over and over again. If there are any, it is a very small group. Those of us who have gone through the decision making on this topic do not take it lightly, or think of it as birth control. It is actually a last resort. It is not an easy decision for anyone to make, not a 19 year old kid, and not a 40 year old woman. The decision is based on a lot of factors, the decision is nobody else’s so it puts a lot of pressure on the woman. The decision to give birth and give a baby up for adoption is just as hard a decision and not made lightly. Both decisions take a lot of strength and courage and both leave a person with trauma that they will deal with throughout their life until they truly focus on healing.
My lived experience is one of empowerment, having the ability to decide for myself what I want. I knew that as a rising senior in college I was not equipped to have a child. I thought my parents would disown me. My boyfriend was supportive no matter what decision I made, and we actually made it together. We both knew having a child was not what we wanted at that time, and we both knew giving a child up wasn’t what we wanted. I was scared. My birth control failed and now I had to make this decision.
I made the best decision I could at the time with the information I had at the time. I was fortunate to have access to a safe and legal abortion and did not have to travel out of state, find the money for it, etc. Was it a difficult decision? Yes. Was it a decision that has lasted with me and caused trauma over my lifetime? Yes. Was I and am I still glad I had the choice? Yes.
My choice. Nobody else’s. My body, my choice. Nobody gets to tell me I cannot choose what I need and want for my life and my body. No matter what anyone else believes, our beliefs guide us as individual, they should not be part of policy making.
Believe what you want, make the choice best for you and allow others to do the same. This choice was mine. This choice is a woman’s choice, not the government, and certainly not a politicized court’s decision.
I, for one, am looking into the ways I will help this cause and will fight. I was raised by a feminist, who was raised by a feminist, and I will fight for all of the girls and women out their who want to own their decisions for their body.