You know that incredible feeling of “Holy Shit” when someone says something that hits you in the gut like a big freaking punch? The air actually escapes from your lungs as if you were really hit and you realize, at that moment, those words connected to your soul. You sit there and feel the emotion of what was said, and you no longer wonder, you know that comment is it. It is actually what has held you back from being the version of you that you want to be. It even held you back from being the best version of the person you used to be.
I was sitting in this room with twenty plus women all becoming their next level self when I heard someone say, “I have been disconnected with my wholeness.” Gut Punch!! That is it! That has always been it. I have thought, for as long as I can remember, that I am broken. I need to be fixed. That I’m missing something to make me whole, whether that was a family of my own, my own children, a man who loved me, a career that inspired me, etc. Each time something went the way I did not want, whether that be not having children, my husband cheating or leaving, unrequited love, I believed it was because there was something wrong with me. I was not whole. I was not worthy. I was not enough.
The more I thought I wasn’t enough, the more disconnected from my wholeness I have felt. What would it feel like to be whole? I would never say or think I was not enough again. It would never be about who I am or my worthiness, it would be about the situation. I would no longer wonder if the reason “he” didn’t pick me is because I am broken, ugly, or not worth his time or attention. <!– wp:paragraph –>
In fact, being whole would be knowing that I am perfect the way I am. It would be trusting the Universe to deliver what is for my highest good. It would mean understanding that not everyone I love will love me the same way and that is okay, and has nothing to do with me not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, sexy enough, etc. It would mean that I am always evolving to be my best self and owning when I am not, in a compassionate way not beating myself up. It would mean not making things mean anything until they actually mean something.
Being whole is being the Suzy that I was always meant to be. Being whole means loving all of me, embracing the parts of me that I used to hide or be embarrassed by. Embracing the parts of me that I used to think were ugly, or broken.
Nobody is broken. Nobody needs to be fixed. We all are whole and worthy because we exist. Let’s lose the thinking that we are broken and focus on how we become the best version of us.
Are you connected to your wholeness?