“For Christmas, Give Your Heart”
~ My Santa
I have not done a lot of decorating for the holidays over the last 5 years. The first year or two it was because of my deep depression, my limited capacity to really care about the season and my stubbornness to ensure that nothing reminded me of my former life. I don’t think I realized those were the reasons until now. The most I did was have 3 stockings hung for me, Lucy and Ricky (my own savior cats). I had a difficult time really getting into the spirit of the season.
For the next couple of years my decorating was limited but perhaps the spirit was starting to come back. Not a lot, mind you, but a little more. Being alone without someone special makes this time of year more difficult. No kids to focus on. No sweetheart to make me feel important and loved. And my family fell apart during this time which made my favorite part of the holiday, Christmas Eve with my entire family, difficult. Oh how this time of year isn’t always easy for me.
Many years ago my house looked like a mix of Christmas and Hanukkah and filled with the spirit of the season. I had lights everywhere, deer on the front lawn, the smell of Christmas due to multiple trees in my house and every room had something in it. I changed pictures to holiday themes, had presents wrapped on the stairs as well as under the tree and candles everywhere. I had the spirit of the season everywhere you turned. So these last 5 years have been a great departure from all of that. And that does continue. My house today is limited in its cheer. A small tabletop tree, my friend referred to it as a bush, adorns my foyer with signs saying Joy in different spots throughout the house. A Santa here, a candle there and the stockings are hung by the fireplace for the Kitties and me!
Next to my sink in my kitchen there is a Santa, really a St. Nick. Dressed in old fashioned garb, this Santa really feels like the spirit of Christmas. He is holding a sign that reads, “For Christmas, Give your Heart.” I have loved this Santa since I found him so many years ago. This is the spirit of the season for me. Giving your heart. Loving those who may not love themselves right now. Giving to those who need it most. Showing those I love what they mean to me by being there, sharing in food, in gifts that make them smile, and time spent together, the greatest gift of all.
Over the years, the bright spot of the holiday season for me and really the spirit of giving my heart, is the adopt-a-family program through work where a group of us would buy all the gifts on a list for a family in need. This always felt amazing for me. To give to someone else, to know that some children who may not believe, would wake up and know that the universe loved them. They could believe in the spirit of Christmas for one more year. This warms my heart each and every year. And this year was no exception. We purchased everything on the family’s list and then some! Once again, I had a warm and loving feeling come over me as I looked at all of the items we purchased and wrapped. The spirit of Christmas, giving your heart, really hit home.
Our world right now is very scary to me. The hate that I see spewed on social media and in the actions of some few radicals has made us all weary. I don’t want to be scared and I don’t want to hate. I want love. Love should be the mantra that we all carry into this season. Love of each other. Love of the universe. Love from the heart.
So for this holiday season, no matter what religions you are or are not, just let’s all love. Let’s give our hearts to each other and share in the spirit of the season.
I give you my heart.