First, I felt the lump in my throat, I could not swallow. Then the tear’s sprang to my eyes and I felt the first teardrop slide down my cheek.
“I’m homesick for a place I’m not sure even exists, where my heart is full, my body loved
And my soul understood”
I read this over and over, barely seeing the words through my tears. Had I ever been to this place? Has it existed for me? I don’t know. I thought it did but I was wrong. I was manipulated into thinking it was real, but all my vulnerabilities were used against me so my soul was known but not understood.
As I sat staring at my computer I wondered what it would feel like, to have my soul understood along with filling my heart and loving my body. I know I have had some of this at times so I guess the place exists but not easy to find or sustain, at least not for me, yet.
Interesting premise for me to ponder, having my soul understood. I think I know what this means but not sure. Is it someone knowing you as well if not better than you knowing yourself? As I sit her thinking a few things come to mind for me. It could be knowing how I will react to something, or knowing something is wrong without my saying a word. It could be checking in with me because your gut says something isn’t right, when I have been silent. It could be always knowing my intent and trusting it is not negative. It could be feeling my energy. It could be be knowing my passions. It should be accepting me fully, finding my edges and imperfections adorable.
I love the song “All of Me” by John Legend. It perfectly describes unconditional love, acceptance and I think, knowing someone’s soul for me. It makes me believe this really exists. He does a beautiful job of painting the picture that he fully accepts everything there is about his wife, and celebrates it all, her curves and her edges. What a wonderful concept to know that someone loves the parts of you that those before them used against you.
is that what is meant by understanding your soul? I think so, but I decided to google the question, “what does it mean to have someone understand your soul?” The resources listed focused very much on the concept of soul mates. So I decided to read one. It resonated. It very closely aligned with some of what I described to myself and made me realize that I had not fully been to this place, yet, not with a romantic partner at least. I may have some of this with the few friends who have loved and accepted me through years of self doubt, self worth issues and not loving me myself.
Here are some of the things the author shared that fully resonated with me.
- You don’t have to lie about who you are anymore. You can and are encouraged to show the good and the ugly, and are finally authentic
- You learn about new ways to have fun, you experience new things and laugh….a lot.
- You find meaning in the mundane.
- You may be out of sync at times but that doesn’t worry you, you stick around through those times.
- You are there when they are having a bad day, and visa versa.
- You read their mind, you pick up on waves that are sent out. You sense when they need you.
- You make your soul mate better, bringing out the best in each other.
- Your heart goes boom when your soul mate is in the room, you look forward to seeing them, at times having your breath taken away.
- Your soul mate is a surprise.
- Your soul mate is not you, they are not exactly like you. This isn’t about opposites attracting per se, but more about finding the piece of the puzzle that fits.
- You trust your soul mate.
- You feel at home and free. Something more than physical presence tethers your soul together.
I am homesick for a place where my heart is full, my body loved and my soul understood. I am going to believe it does exist and ask the universe to work to my greatest good. My soul is ready for that puzzle piece.