The Beatles suite at the Brown Palace is a spectacular treat. The door opens to an entryway with wide plank dark wood floors and a large print of the band that I have never seen. As I walked through to the long light filled living room I giggled. Directly to my right was a 5 foot tall jukebox filled only with the entire Beatles catalogue of songs. Punch in three numbers and the song you want plays throughout the 3 room suite with a sound system I am actually jealous of!
This was my home for the weekend and I was thrilled. Space and music, two things I crave. Space to be me, to find me and music to soothe my soul, and uplift my spirit.
My first morning I put on some music and sat on the couch sipping my fresh coffee. The second song was “Let it Be.” As the song played I felt the familiar lump in my throat and I became teary. The lyrics of this song really struck me. I have been working hard at letting things go, of getting more of a fuck it attitude. I hold on to things, people and relationships, fear, anger and sadness far to long. This last year has been revealing for me in terms of letting go. It is a work in progress and there is progress. I see myself loosening my grip on things and on my expectations of relationships.
Letting something be is where my journey is taking me. Not just when I find myself in times of trouble, as the song states, but always. To not control or attempt to control a situation or a relationship but to let it unfold naturally is not my norm. I don’t try to manipulate but I also don’t sit back and just go with it. This is new for me.
Embracing a situation or a person right where they are without judgement and without making it exactly what I want is daunting for me. I have lived much of my life being in control, using my masculine energy to solve problems and gain the outcomes I want. During 2015 and the early part of 2016, I have focused on using more feminine energy, and becoming more open to receiving than just giving.
During this trip I had the opportunity to spend time with a cousin I haven’t seen in about 8 years. As we sat and talked she brought up that she is trying to allow things to just unfold in her life but it was difficult for her. I laughed and shared my struggles with her. During this chat we both had some revelations. We realized that both of us having strong mothers and older brothers probably helped us develop our masculine energy early in life. We also realized that loving someone where they are is what we have both craved from relationships so why can’t we give it freely?
As I reflect on this today it is clearer that being loved right where I am without expectations is all I am looking for in this world, and is what I want to give more of. Accept people and situations where they are and give them love. People grow with love. Relationships flourish with love. Situations change and improve with love.
Let it be, and let it unfold, no expectations. This is the next part of the journey.