A hurt heart….again.

My heart hurts again. Watching the news accounts and again having that feeling of how unsafe the world is fills me with sadness, fear and anger. To know that a group of innocent people lost their lives because of who they choose to love is deplorable to me. I am almost at a loss for words.

And then the social media outbursts begin. There is the hate spewed for what is supposed to be a revered position, the President of the United States. When did it become ok to state such horrible things about the most senior official of our country?  Whether you like his politics or not what happened to respect? The hate spewed for a religion. The hate spewed for sexual orientation. All horrible reflections of what society has become.

I have never understood why people stereotype, and hate people because of things that have nothing to do with them. Let me be clear, I have a lot of dislikes or at times in my life hatred for people; a singular person who has hurt me or someone I love. I don’t understand hatred because of religion, politics, ideals, sexual preferences, or gender for that matter. And I could hate all men if I chose to, but I don’t. I love men. I don’t love the men who have hurt me but I love men. I love their physical strength, their sense of humor and their feeling that they need to protect. Again, all generalizations, but filled with love and admiration.

My parents married in 1949. My mom is Jewish. My dad is not. My dad is Italian Catholic although not at all religious as he was excommunicated from the church when he married my mom. So from the beginning I was taught that people are unfortunately intolerant of people who are different. And over time it became apparent that people were intolerant due to fear, ignorance or a belief in certain stereotypes that allowed them spew hate. The number of comments I have heard about Jews in my lifetime because people don’t think I am Jewish has been astonishing to me.  I am aware that my last name doesn’t “sound Jewish” or that I may not “look Jewish.” But nobody has a right to just say such things about a group of people.

I remember my first husband becoming so appalled by someone’s comment to me at a party. She said the ol’ “You don’t look Jewish!!” He looked right at her and said “what does Jewish look like?” I felt so defended at that moment and realized then that people were just ignorant.

But ignorance does not allow or excuse behavior. We don’t have an excuse to be ignorant today, there is too much information out there and it is easy to get. But people are ignorant. The thought that you can “catch” being gay or that someone who is transgender is going to be a pedophile is incredible to me in this day and age.

I am hurting for a community who already has to deal with discrimination due to ignorance and now the anguish and hurt is compounded.  I am hurting for people I love who have this hate thrown at them often. Why? Why is it anyone’s business who someone loves? I don’t understand the hate, I don’t understand the bullying. I don’t understand.

And again we have to be concerned about being out in a public place, a night club. Add that to the restaurants, sporting events, movie theatres and airplanes. I sometimes think staying home and never going anywhere is safest. 

Are we ok that people are afraid if they don’t love who society deems acceptable? I am not ok. I am not ok that people think it is ok to attack any of our ideals. And yes sometimes the same people who do not want us to be intolerant spew attacks because of our views being different.  What has really happened to our society?  

My heart hurts again. This time for people who I love directly. People who have fought for rights that never should have been a fight to begin with. For people who are treated this way because of who they love.

My heart hurts for society. This has to stop.



  1. Wayne Steinman on June 16, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    I love you, dear cousin, for all that you are and the deep love that you share. As someone you know who has experienced the hate of others, whose community has been attacked again and again, I grieve deeply. But I become ever more resilient to the hate. And resolve to fight on to protect my child, my loved ones and my community. XOXO

  2. Suzy on June 16, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    You are resilient. You are fierce. You are brave. You are love. You are an inspiration ❤️

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