I was recently speaking with a good friend who I adore and who, like me has fluctuated with weight. The difference is at her heaviest she is thinner than my thin. But at her thinnest, she is small. I don’t generally notice the weight she says she’s gained, I think she looks healthy not frail. She was telling me that she knows she needs to do something; she doesn’t like how she looks.
Each time she said something about her weight, she would say it as something she should be doing something about but…she never said the but however it almost always sounded like she didn’t believe she could. She sounded as if she knew she wouldn’t. And that becomes a cycle. There is truth in the self-fulfilling prophecy commentary, at least I have seen it and been victim to it.
As I listened I realized that she needed to stop saying “I need to do something” and change it to “I am doing something.” She was speaking in future tense as if she would see if she wanted to when tomorrow came. A small word change would alter the entire meaning, intent and becomes action you are taking. It changes your mindset.
Marianne Williamson says, “You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.” So very true. Your thoughts completely manifest your actions, your being.
You need to be positive and fill your vocabulary with positive words and twists on your issues. My life coach early on in our work together helped me reframe comments by sometimes just adding “yet.”
“I haven’t lost weight, yet.” “I haven’t met anyone, yet.” It is a simple way to begin to reframe the negative thoughts that many of us have allowed to seep into our brains. We have judged ourselves too harshly, allowing those negative impressions and thoughts to invade our psyche. Saying yet allowed me to begin to see the possibility of a more positive outcome, pushing me from “yet” to “I am losing weight.” The change in energy can propel you forward.
Those thoughts, that voice in your head, you have to keep it positive. In order to live our best lives we need our best thoughts. In order to live our best lives we need to think in a way that pushes us, that opens us to love, giving and accepting.
By changing our way of thinking and doing more from a place of love, the more love will come into our lives. I recently read something about loving someone for their true self, and they will become the best version of them because they have been seen. They know that they are appreciated and so they want to get better and better. Again, learning a new way to think, to master a new way to be.
So imagine, thinking positive thoughts so that you exude and attract positive vibrations and master a positive life, then love someone as they are and watch them become even more amazing…as you become more amazing.
Now that sounds like a way to be.