Every once in a while, you come across a saying, a quote, or just some words that create amazing clarity and give you a way to articulate what you are feeling. That happened this morning for me. I was trolling the internet, reading different quotes or stories that were about being happy, controlling only your reaction to events not the actual events or behaviors of others and stumbled upon compassion. As I read the word, “compassion”, I felt peace and realized that this has become my approach to life.
And then I saw the 4 words written after compassion:
Empower Enhance Engage Enable
Clarity. Immediate clarity. These words describe how I want to live my life, and how I want to lead. These are feelings and actions I am striving for. I know I am not there all of the time, but these words describe my goal. These words describe not only the approach I seek, but I also how I want others to feel after interacting with me.
So what do these mean to me?
Empower is where I give others room. Room to grow, room to win, room to fall, room to experience, room to make decisions. This is where others gain confidence in themselves. This is hard for me because I always want to help. Sometimes, helping becomes doing for or the need to try to fix. Certainly personally, I learned this lesson over the last few years when I tried to be the fixer for all issues in my family. That did not glean the results I was looking for, in fact it at times made things worse. I finally had to stop trying to fix, and just be. Let others figure it out. And they did. Empower is also about me and my feeling of empowerment. I was with a cousin last night and was talking about how tired I was, I do a lot of driving and I really wasn’t sure I wanted to drive again another 2 hours for one night at my shorehouse. I also don’t feel great. Her comment was, “make sure you give yourself permission to say no in the morning, if that is what you want.” Empowerment! My natural inclination is about not wanting to disappoint someone who thought I was going to show up, or do. I realize now that she’s right, I need to empower myself! I need to give myself permission.
Enhance is where others walk away better because of the experience with me. Be the person I want to meet. Help make the world a softer, kinder, more loving world. Being the person I want to meet is a focus for me now. I have a friend who I think is the most beautiful soul I have ever met. The warmth, caring, and compassionate way this person approaches all situations is filled with love for others. I learn from this person daily. I am enhanced because of my relationship with them and I want others to feel that way with me. Be the person I want to meet.
Engage is my interaction with others. Bring people in, share my love. I believe this is a natural gift. I am one to bring people in and engage. I was recently told that I was very easy to talk with and that I help people figure things out without realizing that they are in a “therapy session.” I don’t claim to be a therapist but I think about things differently than most and have been through a lot. I never mind sharing what I think or what I have experienced. I don’t bring people in to help however, that is where I try to be a lone wolf, I can fix anything. Don’t you know, I’m superwoman!
Enable is how I help move forward. The culmination of our joint learning and teaching. We are both enabled. I have a trigger in my head, I think, that just moves and figures things out. I want to enable myself and others. I am sure that is why I am in the profession I am in and why I was the kid that everyone told their adolescent problems to.
Empower, Enhance, Engage, Enable. Four words that struck me and that I focus on to live a compassionate and loving life. I fall down from time to time and that is when all that compassion has to be focused on me. Be compassionate with you. Empower yourself to make your decisions and live your life. Enhance the world around you, let people walk away from you a little better than they were. Engage whenever you can, help people move forward, help people heal. Enable others and yourself to be compassionate and loving.
What a kinder, gentler world it would be!