Ahhh, we are coming to year end, fast and furious! Time to begin to reflect on the intentions set at the beginning of 2019 and recognize what happened through the year. It is time to understand what was great about 2019, what was not, and where should we focus in 2020!
Understanding the year and ourselves helps us to continually grow and change, creating a better version of ourselves. I always start the year with some intentions. For 2019 they were to get my business up and running; be fit and healthy; believe in myself; open my heart and create my world from a place of possibilities and lastly be love to be loved.
To really understand what I manifested I followed a practice I do each year. I ask the 4 questions that my mentor, Gina Marotta, taught me. What are your successes for 2019? What are your failures for 2019? What are your lessons for 2019? What are your surprises for 2019? By journaling and reflecting on these I find I am more honest and open to learning, celebrating and moving forward. Take a few minutes, and just write what comes to you, don’t think much about any of it at this point, let the pen guide you. Taking stock in all of it allows me to get real for 2020, spending time focusing on what I want and need, how I want to show up, what boundaries I need and what expectations I need to let go.
2019 was a big year in a lot of respects. As I worked through my successes, I realized they were divided into a few categories; my business, my practices, my physical wellness and my emotional wellness. I launched my coaching business and began to create some streams of revenue but more importantly, began to clarify my work. I tried things and learned a lot about myself in the process. I became focused on practices and rituals that enhance my life and me. I am consistent in my meditation practice, gratitude practice and living truly in alignment. I got stronger physically, continued to lonesome weight and feel less fragile than ever. I created some platforms to speak, educating and raising awareness and consciousness. I traveled a bit and allowed myself much more time in the present, the now than ever. I asked for help when I needed it and created boundaries that I felt were necessary.
My failures were highlighted by my being alone. I did not find love or intimacy this year, I also gave up early on in the year. I pined after lost opportunities and unrequited love and struggled to let go of expectations. I also failed in finding my voice in one relationship, allowing feelings of jealousy and fear to take over and dictate my reaction. Lastly, I did not write the way I thought I would, I did not feel that motivation.
My lessons allowed me to celebrate some things as well as focus my emotional health differently. I found that I can do anything I put my mind to, especially if I detach from the timing and the how. I learned that jealousy is evil for me and triggers behaviors that I detest. I recognized how my true and amazing family and friends rally around me. Lastly, I learned that I need to be more forgiving so I can be forgiven.
My surprises also crossed both areas to celebrate and wounds I thought I healed. I surprised myself in terms of what really lights me up now. I no longer want to shop, eat, drink to pass time but instead want to learn, travel, be more in nature and live each moment more. The need to fill voids and time have dwindled, being is as productive as doing. I surprised myself with how strong my intuition and connection to the universe really is and relied on that more. I set some boundaries this year which I did not do in the past. I said no more, I spoke my truth more. I also still found myself alone, surprised with my inability to meet men, pushing them away instead.
As I reflect on the year, I see my growth, and I see my next phase coming forward. I am making my list of what I want to leave in 2019, and focusing on my intentions for 2020. Some of my intentions did manifest, some perhaps need more attention. As we roll into a new decade, I am thinking about where I want to place my energy and where I want transformation! Let’s wind down 2019 and prepare for our next phase!