“Step into your Power.” She said it to me as if I understood what that meant. I had no idea. What the heck does it mean to step into my power? I was not powerful. I was a woman in her 40’s who thought she was powerful because she had some career success. I wielded some power at work although I tried to not lead like a dictator. I did a lot through not just consensus but in being the teacher and student, collaborating to come up with the best decision, idea, process, etc. It worked for the most part, however that wasn’t the power that I needed. I needed internal power, I needed to own me.
Sometimes you can watch someone and know they own their shit. They walk with confidence, they move with east but assurance. You don’t hear apologies out of their mouths, no I’m sorry, no explanations. Whatever they did, it was because it was to their highest good, if it was to yours great, but it was about their greatest good. Not a conceded, I come first manner, just focused on only those things that serve their highest purpose, which should also in some ways serve others.
What did it feel like for me to “step into my power?” In those days it was very much about fear of getting hurt that was in my way. I had to do a lot of work to recognize that not everyone was the men I was married to and I needed to give more of a chance. I also needed to allow the wall I had built around my heart to begin to come down. I had no power, I didn’t own me, I was a victim of my circumstances. I was the woman who lost a brother at 42. I was the woman who “failed” at two marriages. I was a victim to my own punishment around decisions that I regretted. I was a victim and lived there often.
Fast forward to the present, and I own me more than ever. I know who I am and who I am not, most of the time. Sometimes I slip back to victim, why are they doing this to me? Now I correct it in my head, “they” are reacting and it is about them, not me. My reaction is about me. I own that. Sometimes my reaction is off the charts angry and escalates at a pace that disturbs me. I focus a lot on that so that I don’t allow anger to infiltrate immediately. I am a work in progress on that.
What does truly owning and stepping into my power look like?
It looks like confidence, and an understanding that I am good right where I am, with who I am. I know what my unique gifts are and am sharing them in a way to expand the world, to grow for me and others.
It feels as if I am in complete control of my life and am turning it over to the universe to guide me. It is as if things are clicking on all cylinders. I am speaking more about things happening, not will happen. I am often in the flow, losing track of time sometimes, but always in the flow, it just keeps going. I don’t feel rushed or apprehensive. I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing.
When we step into our power, we are affirming that we are who we say we are. We are strong, we are warriors; no matter how wounded we were or sometimes still feel, we are warriors. We are powerful in our thoughts, our energy and love. We give and at times need to learn to receive. I spent years trying to step into my power fully. We may not even realize that we aren’t fully in our power until we see it in front of us, when it is too glaring a fact to look away, we know. We aren’t in our power; we are semi in or sharing on a piece of our power.
It is time to fully step into our power, each of us and own who we are. Be who we are, glorious unlimited potential filled with love and gratitude.