The sky was multi-colored, with the night blue starting to lighten to the west, lighter purple and pink to the east. The first light of day was just beginning to brighten the world, the birds beginning to awaken. Seagulls, plovers and sanderlings began to dot the beach, waiting and watching for the big ball of fire to emerge over the horizon. We stood quietly, beginning to let the new day wash over us, another opportunity to grow, learn, enjoy life!
As the sun began to crown, I took a very deep breath in, letting the air fill my entire chest cavity. I exhaled slowly as I watched the sun begin to rise. I began to talk to myself, thinking about my intention of the day, how to think positively as we started this new dawn. Debbie and I began to sing, “here comes the sun.” Although we didn’t get very far and neither of us can really sing well, it felt right. The day was new and fresh, we were happy to hang out together.
Mornings such as this remind me of what life is truly about. It is about intentional living not going through the motions, It is about stopping and enjoying nature. We walked through the lighthouse park, seeing monarch butterflies, dragonflies, and hawks. We walked for a few miles just enjoying the beauty in front of us, snapping pictures and talking along the way.
Weekends such as this, being near the ocean, watching the sunrise, sitting on the deck at night listening to the roar of the surf, nourishes my soul. My soul has been so very tired, I have needed nourishment. I have needed being loving to myself. I have needed self care, but instead I have been self critical, my feelings of doubt and of “not being good enough” have been on the surface. My nerves have been somewhat shot, with my emotions running a bit wild. I know eating clean over the last few weeks has forced all of that to come to the surface. I’m not filling the void or eating the comfort foods that allow me to not feel what I don’t want to feel. I’m feeling everything, good, bad, real, imagined.
I have been reacting to most things from a place of fear instead of love. Today, during this incredible sunrise, I created the intention of moving to a place of love, instead of fear. It is not an easy intention. I have to work at this, and want to as I like how it feels to be from love, using my open heart. I have closed my heart over the last 6 months, so afraid of being hurt again. My heart hasn’t been open to anyone, hence my isolation, my fears running rampant and my attitude challenging. I feel it and see it. Now I am working to change it.
Yes, I needed this sunrise, to remind me not to waste any day. To live from love not fear. To love each day and show the world all the love there is in my heart. To working at my open heart….again.