In the midst of chaos, of death and dying, there is rebirth. In the midst of illness and isolation, there is regeneration. In the midst of fear and quarantine, there is life and love. This is where the world is right now.
The trees are beginning to bud. The daffodils have already dried up and the tulips are beginning to sprout. The birds are back in large numbers, feeders need to be filled every few days. The air is getting warmer and the sun stronger. The days are longer and the nights have less chill in the air. There is a newness coming alive, nature doing its thing and being reborn.
At night, the sky seems brighter, it looks as if there are more stars all of a sudden. You start hearing people laughing more in the evening as they sit outside, a sound that has been missing through the winter. The world is coming alive. Well, nature is coming alive, the world is in the midst of an unprecedented pandemic. Alive is not the word coming to mind.
Through all of the sadness, fear and worry, there is beauty. You can see the Himalaya mountains in India, a sight that has been lost in the pollution. You can see fish in the canals of Venice, something that was lost to boat traffic. The smog of LA and other cities has subsided a bit with less car traffic and manufacturing. We see more life around us even though we feel more death.
Nature shows us that everything is a cycle of birth, life and death, and it keeps on cycling. Each year as things are reborn they are a little different, a little fuller. Colors of flowers deepen, things grow in a way that shows that they learned something from the last cycle and are better for it. Perhaps nature is showing us that we need to do the same.
Through this cycle, perhaps we are being asked to grow differently. Maybe, just maybe, the planet is telling us to change, to come alive after this cycle with a different focus. Many of us spend our lives validating who we think we are, who we become after all the conditioning. The conditioning comes from traumas in our childhood, parenting by people with their own traumas and wounds. Conditioning by the world to push us to be someone who at our core we may not be. To be successful, you had to ascribe to the guys way of doing things, don’t show your emotions, have a get it done attitude and push people to get it done the way you know how.
At my core, I lead with my heart. I was told as a child that I was too emotional and was made fun by my siblings when I cried. I was told as a child that to be a strong woman meant I had to be tough, I had to be independent and know how to do everything so I would never need anyone. I was told as a young adult new to the workforce that I had to be like the guys. I had to show defiance and stand strong in my way of doing things. I had to not let people see my soft side.
I remember one female boss who told me that every time I said “just want to let you know,” that I was minimizing my worth. I didn’t really ever get that, but I tried like hell to not use “just” anymore. Then I realized that was her issue, not mine. If a word choice was minimizing my worth, is that really where I wanted to work?
Perhaps this is a time to really understand who you are at your core and who you have been conditioned to become. Reflection can be frightening and change even more so, however, becoming truly authentic to who you are and not who you have been conditioned to be is life altering and freeing.
I no longer need to know everything, my way isn’t the only way and I lead with my heart and compassion. I forgive easily although I have not gotten the forget part so well. I see the good more often than the bad. As I continue to reflect and grow during this time of rebirth, I know I have more to do. I am shedding who I was in corporate and who I was in general. I don’t like the energy it created and I don’t like everything about the person I was. I no longer use judgement the way I once did and I know longer feel I need other’s validation.
Perhaps this cycle of death and rebirth will help us be kinder to each other, kinder to our planet. Perhaps we can shed some of the divisiveness and see each others points of view as just that, and not an affront to what we think. Perhaps we can yell a little less at each other and listen with a more compassionate heart. Perhaps we can judge each other and ourselves far less and focus more on accepting our differences.
This is a cycle of nature’s rebirth. Perhaps it is also our rebirth as people. Shedding all of conditioning and becoming our true, loving, compassionate selves.