What are we waiting for? So often, we have an idea of what we are “supposed to do” which is based on our past, our beliefs, the people who have shaped us, the expectations we have placed on ourselves or the ones others have placed on us. We don’t walk away from things that no longer serve us because “we have been friends for so long” or ” I planned to retire at a certain age and I’m not there yet.” So we stay in jobs that no longer excite us, or light us up. We stay in relationships longer than we should because “we’ve been together so long,” or “what if I can’t find another person.” We say yes for things that we don’t want to do because we are expected to do them. We don’t take chances out of the fear that it won’t work out and then “what will people think?” So many of us aren’t really living our authentic life, we just trudge through the days waiting for the day of retirement when we don’t have to work any longer (if that is even possible).
Moving from fear of change, fear of what people think, fear of failure, fear of….to faith is hard. Faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to, faith that the right person enters your life at the right time, or leaves your life to make room for something or someone who serves your highest good. Faith that every decision moves you closer to your goals. Faith that the universe has your back. Faith. Why is it so hard for so many of us? Why do we live mediocre lives instead of superfantastic lives? Why do worry about what doesn’t work out so long that we don’t see what is working out in front of us? Why do we worry so much about what others think and forget what makes us happy and joy filled? Because the move from fear to faith is hard. It means putting our heart out there and perhaps tripping and falling along the way.
Not changing and not growing is one way to allow fear to hold us back. Not evolving but sticking with the “this is who I am,” bullshit is just that, bullshit. That may be who you have been, but if that person is no longer serving a higher good because that person hurts others, makes others feel less than, then we have to look at that person and say to ourselves, “is this my best version? Can I be a better version of me tomorrow?” This isn’t about changing for the sake of changing or changing because someone doesn’t like how we are. This is about evolving into our best self, and that is scary and holds a lot of people back. Our best self, will probably give up some of our worst habits(that have become part of us). Our best self, will probably give up some ways of being and pick up new ways of being that may disrupt others expectations of us. People expect people to be certain ways because we always have been. Perhaps you always acquiesce to someone else’s wants or desires because it is easier than trying to influence them. All of sudden because you are evolving, you decide you are going to create some boundaries around some behaviors, people, situations. That disrupts the flow of relationships. That disrupts others’ expectations of you and that’s okay. In fact, that’s great. Grow. Evolve. Put up boundaries. This life isn’t about the soul crushing job or the friends who have been around you the longest. This life is about being your best, surrounding yourself with the best and doing what is best for you, not for everyone else all of the time.
This could sound selfish. And maybe it is. But isn’t this our individual life? If so, then why do we need to live it according to others’ expectations of us? This is about making decisions that lead us to our best selves, not what others want us to do. This is about making changes even if others think we are nuts. I remember when I was deciding to retire from corporate America. My dad’s comment was, “just stay at your company and milk them for the money.” My reply was “the money doesn’t matter. I need to be happy, less stressed and move forward.” I took a huge risk, leaving a 6 figure job to start my own practice, work far less hours and make an impact on individuals versus a business. That decision happened almost 2 years ago. The best decision I have ever made! It was scary. I thought a few times about whether I should have made it at this time. I realize today that I have never been happier. I have never felt more at peace and in alignment with who I am. I have evolved and grown so much in the two years since I decided I was going to take this leap. I no longer could stay in a soul crushing job working for soul crushing people. I didn’t care what others wanted me to do, or expected me to do, it was my time.
Take the leap. Move from fear to faith. Evolve, put up appropriate boundaries and move toward who you are meant to be, not who the world has told you to be.
The time is now.