Thinking of you


“I want them to know I am thinking of them.” Her mom said to her, as she lay in her hospital bed. The scene all too familiar now. Nancy’s mom had been in and out of hospitals since Thanksgiving. And so she went about purchasing “Thinking of you ” cards for her mom.

How incredibly unselfish she is, I thought when Nan told me. How are you in pain, a virtual pin cushion for doctors, and you think of others? But that is who Nan’s mom, May, is, and always was. Kind, compassionate and never judgmental. She fit into the flighty category as well, like my mom, and it was just as endearing. I remember in high school when my boyfriend fell, after drinking a bottle of gin! He went to the hospital for stitches and came to Nancy’s house afterwards. His terry cloth shirt absorbed all the blood, as it should, and that stain adorned his chest. Gog, as we have affectionately called her since she became a grandmother, never said a word, we never even knew if she noticed.

Her kindness and compassion have stuck with her through her hardest moments. And some of her children embody her kind way completely, Nancy especially. She feels and cares deeply for those around her, and worries for them.

When I heard about the thinking of you cards I wondered, would I think about others when I’m in a bed for months? I doubt it. Here I am alone in my piece of paradise for a weekend and I’m thinking of people. I’m wishing some would have come with me, but I’m selfishly not telling them I’m thinking of them. I’m probably being pissy if I’m honest, and being selfish. Not just today either. I’m realizing that I’m more selfish than I would like. And that is the lesson her genuine care is creating. Stop being selfish. Stop seeing the world as black and white and through one lens, my own.

Nancy and I have been beasties since we were 12! She is the kindest and most unselfish person I know. She has taught me a lot about putting others first. But her mom’s idea of thinking of you cards, while she awaits yet more needles, and things to bring comfort, is the biggest lesson of them all!

Petty differences need to slip away replaced by non-judgmental genuine care for others. Perhaps in today’s world it is more with a text than a card but letting someone know I am thinking of them and care is still a primal need. We all want to be thought of, cared for and loved. In her weakened state, Gog still wants people to know they are cared for and loved. It doesn’t get more beautiful than that.

I, for one, will try to emulate her, and ensure people know I’m thinking of them and care. Not to get something in exchange but just to let them know they are loved.

To you, my community of readers, I’m thinking of you and hope you have a wonderfully inspiring day filled with love!



  1. Karen on July 2, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    And you do inspire me! As does Gog. Great story. Great lady. Great reminder! Thank you.
    Before Alexa’s Bat Mitzvah, my mom gave her her old (but still gorgeous!) diamond stud earrings as a gift. Originally my mom was going to lend them to her, but decided that since she rarely wore them, she’d make it a gift. She had them cleaned up and they sparkled like new, and they were even in a box.
    When we left my Mom’s house, Lexi said to me, “Grandma is the only person I know who enjoys giving gifts even more than receiving them.” It was so true! Receiving pleasure from giving. What a concept!
    Your beautiful story touched me and reminded me of that.

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Nancy Mullins on July 2, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    This is such a beautiful tribute to mom I am in tears reading it and how you capture her character.
    Thank you so much for including her& I in your blog
    Love you xo

  3. Suzy on July 2, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    Thanks Kar, beautiful story about your mom❤️

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